lotusbiosm

Dear Universe:
As I see it, there are three potential explanations for the crap I've had thrown at me lately (and I mean the past six months, not just this week).
1) You are preparing to give me something scrumptiously wonderous, but must create cosmic balance. This is the darkness before the dawn. I sincerely hope that this is the case.
2) There has been so much good stuff that has happened to me that this is simply the cosmic scale balancing out. This, I can handle, so long as it doesn't go on too long or become too extreme.
3) I am being punished for bad things I have done. This is karma coming back to bite me on the ass to punish me for a number of things. If this is the case, let me say that I fully acknowledge that I have sinned in my words and in my deeds, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do, and I'm sorry. You know that I'm sorry. Seriously, I don't need to be punished, I get it. And also, I would like to add that if punishment is required by the laws of the universe, may I remind you that I have migraines? Does that not count?
Sincerely,
Evelyn

Also, FYI to my beloved readers, my phone is broken. So you cannot call me.

So, having the boy here was lovely and nice. We went to see Star Wars on Friday night. Saturday we moved some of my stuff, but the wall was in the process of being built, so that didn't work out so well. We also went to the National Gallery of Art and American History. It was fun. Then we took a nap. Then we went to dinner. Sunday we went to Dim Sum with Susie, which was very fun and yummy, then the three of us walked down the Mall, stopping at American History again, and visiting memorials. Rolling Thunder was in town, as it's Memorial Day, and they are very, very loud. We dropped Susie off at the Metro, went to Tower Records for a couple minutes, came back, and hung out. We watched SVU and did crossword puzzles, and then ordered pizza and watched the Yankees lose to the Red Sox, and did more puzzles. This morning I packed up some more stuff, and we took it to the new house. The basement looks so much nicer now- carpet laid down, the bed there, a nightstand, it's nice. But I still have more stuff to take over there. I should get some lunch and then empty a suitcase so I can come back and get more of my stuff. Maybe if I take my computer and television over there, the temptation to stay here won't be so high.
But I am sad, because Gabe is gone. I cried when he left, because I am a big baby. Which made me think about how different it is to be the one visiting and the one being visited. When you're the visitor, sure, you're sad to leave, but you also have things like traffic, and getting home to your own bed and how much gas you have on your mind. When you're the one being left behind, it's just the empty places where the person you love was a few minutes ago. And sometimes, yeah, it means you can do things like laundry and dishes and whatever errands you have to do, and maybe some peace and quiet. But it was so nice having him here. It's nice having a man around, and it's nice having a friend around to do things with. I considered confiscating his car keys, but I figure his Mom probably wants him back, and he has to go to work. And I start my internship tomorrow, so it's good he's gone, but I wish he could stay.

This is only the second paper I've had to write while in Germany. Which is probably the problem. I'm out of practice. And I have no idea how long it is at present, nor do I seem able to write an introduction or conclusion, nor do I know if the paper is good at all. And it should be. The grade will transfer as Pass/Fail, but I'll know. And in theory, this will go on to be half of my thesis. Which I am dreading. One of the other students (who I thought was a moron) has 24 pages. I don't think I've ever written a 24 page paper in my life. Granted, most of my profs don't want anything that long (thank you God), but still, if they did, I'm not sure I could pull it off.
I just want this paper to be finished, and then I want to get on the plane and go home and see people that like me and that I like. And knowing that it's so soon almost makes it harder to tough it out. But I'm not completely packed. maybe between 75-80%, but still. Basically, I just want to curl up in a ball and wait for things to be better. But, that won't work, so back to the typing.