lotusbiosm | Entries tagged with berlin

I'm done. I skipped back to my apartment on Monday after successfully completing and presenting my paper. Then I went out and got drunk with the other members of my group after hearing one of them give a recital. It was pleasant. Being done felt good.
Then I flew home on Wednesday, which was good. I like America somedays.
On Friday I went to Alfred and saw people that I missed. This was also good. I am waiting for one more professor to reply to me regarding my thesis comittee. If she says yes, I will be done with that part too. I saw Prof. Singer, which was very good, esp as now I will have a German minor (seeing as how I went to Germany and all). Basically, all is right with the world. Kate finished the evil engineering thesis, Nathanael has a job, and last night I broke up with Ashley. He took it rather well, which makes me feel good. It took about 8 minutes. What can I say, I'm efficient.
Yesterday's drive home from Alfred was rather harrowing. Spent much of the time on the Thruway going 45 mph or under. The speed limit is 65 mph. Went off the road twice, but no damage done, unlike many of the unlucky people I saw who hit guardrails or went down emabankments and needed tow trucks. I get the feeling sometimes that God is watching out for me, possibly because my friends and family nag him so much. I appreciate that.
Had Thanksgiving dinner last night too, which was yummy. Now I am going to go downstairs and have leftover turkey sandwhiches. Yay.
More later.

Well, wrote a few more pages last night and typed them up today. Have to go print them out and make copies and whatnot. Oy.
Last, night, was on the phone with my dad and also online at the same time. Apparently I forgot to turn off the auto-logon on the AIM at the internet cafe and so had gotten logged on while I was elsewhere. All fixed though, but it was annoying. Thank goodness it wasn't someone trying to use my name, because I don't think the confrontation thing would have gone well.
Off to print. Hopefully being "done" will make me not so depressed and I won't have to fight from bursting into tears on the subway. Don't ask why, I don't understand it either. I want to print, and be done, and eat chocolate. And then go home and cuddle. I expect lots of cuddling upon my return to America, as I have been much deprived here in Europe. This, by the way, I'm convinced is why there are wars and other bad things. The people in charge don't get enough cuddling.

So, on the other computer my paper was as long single spaced as it is double spaced on this one. Which is a problem, because my paper is no where near as long as it needs to be. Going home to work on ideas to make it longer, because while I will have photos, I don't know that that will be enough...

Another part of my problem is that this paper is mostly a synthesis of my opinions and information garnered from lectures and various readings, so I have basically no one to cite b/c it's all out of my head.

This is only the second paper I've had to write while in Germany. Which is probably the problem. I'm out of practice. And I have no idea how long it is at present, nor do I seem able to write an introduction or conclusion, nor do I know if the paper is good at all. And it should be. The grade will transfer as Pass/Fail, but I'll know. And in theory, this will go on to be half of my thesis. Which I am dreading. One of the other students (who I thought was a moron) has 24 pages. I don't think I've ever written a 24 page paper in my life. Granted, most of my profs don't want anything that long (thank you God), but still, if they did, I'm not sure I could pull it off.
I just want this paper to be finished, and then I want to get on the plane and go home and see people that like me and that I like. And knowing that it's so soon almost makes it harder to tough it out. But I'm not completely packed. maybe between 75-80%, but still. Basically, I just want to curl up in a ball and wait for things to be better. But, that won't work, so back to the typing.

I feel very figidty today. I don't know why. I went to a class last night, which was good because I got to see other people, but I couldn't sleep when I went to bed. Other people have not had so much diffuclty making friends in Berlin. By other people I mostly mean Jeralyn, and she lives in NYC, and so is used to the whole club scene. I am not. I know that I am not good at making friends outside of a school setting. It occured to me that that's because I've never had to. It makes me worry about Grad school, because I will probably be going to school in a big city, such as NYC or DC (assuming I go right away).
I have a terrible headache right now. I think it is perhaps from the grayness of today, and of the week in general. Maybe it is going to rain soon.
I feel pressure to finish my work, but yet at the same time an inability to do it. Basically I just want it all to be done.
Also, a certain someone who shall remain nameless, could not remember when I am coming home. This is understandable, in certain circumstances. However, this particular individual should, in theory, know. And didn't. Knew that it was in the middle of his finals, but not when. Grr, argh.
Last night when I was lying in bed I had lots to say. Now, not so much. I can't focus. But I have to, because time is running short. I think I will go take some photos and print out my paper to proofread and see how long it is.

I could be done now. I would like to be sitting on the airplane to Boston right now, with all my work in Germany done. Done done done. But I'm not. Another thing that would be good would be if the sun would come out. Then I could go take some photos for my paper, to make it longer. Also having MS Word, or basically any word processing program would be good, because as it is I have to use my e-mail to compose things, and I have virtually no idea how long anything is so I just wine and complain and want to go home. Yes, you should all pity poor me and my miserable life where I got to spend a semester in a fabulous apartment in a wonderful metropolis. My life is so hard. I know I shouldn't complain, but does that stop me? Of course not. Anyway, what I'm really doing right now is procrastinating instead of writing my paper about Holocaust memorials in Berlin. But I must finish. I must. So, back to work...

Things I miss (in no particular order):
my ergonomic keyboard
having my own computer, or at least a readily accesible lab
Kate
Kristin
Cassandra
Albert
Nathanael
my Udrive
Oreos
the WB
Being in the same time zone as people I love
my parents
getting hugged everday
being able to take books out of the library
snow
Alfred
my professors
singing in church
the dining hall
having a reason to get out of bed in the morning (as in something to do with the day, not as in a reason to live)
- a random post I know, but the keyboards here hurt my hands, partly because I don't type as much here, and I have a paper to write and no computer of my own to use.

The internet is a beautiful thing, when it works. Yesterday, I was updating my journal, only the update didn't go through, because I think the woman messing around with the computer net to mine screwed something up (this was at the internet cafe). Now, I am trying to read my e-mail. This is somewhat difficult, as the Alfreed website is down, and I therefore cannot get to my e-mail. However, I did visit Albert's webpage and was made very happy by the fact that my return to the States was listed as one of his "upcoming events." It is very nice to know that people miss me, esp as I spend so much time alone here in Berlin and don't feel much of a connection to the people here.

Speaking of other people, I spent Thanksgiving weekend in Munich. It was pretty, and it snowed, and they had some nifty palaces and a beautiful Christmas market and a very nifty town hall. I didn't get to see nearly as much as I would have liked as Hannah was not feeling well. The advantadge of travelling with other people is that you have someone to do stuff with. The disadvantadge is that they can get on your nerves and you find yourself having to comprimise. Oh well, I'm glad I went, even if I was going to hit Alex a few times (for no good reason, just 'cause). On the plus side, I got a copy of Women in Love for €3.50 at the bookstore in the train station. Not a bad price, and I needed something to read.
I will attempt to read my e-mail again now, and failing that, shall do some research for my paper, as I have a meeting today at 5 with my advisor.

Had an interesting past few days. Sunday I went to the Ethnological Museum in Berlin. I want to work there. It was very cool. They have, oddly enough, an excellent Native American collection. And the audio commentary was very well done.
Before I got there, I was sitting in the train station, to take the subway to the museum, and this guy started talking to me. I tried to ignore him, but no go. Then I told him I didn't speak German. Problem is, I do speak the most common second language on earth. Bloody English colonialism. He was from Africa (I could tell he wasn't born in Germany by the accent). He was nice, and told me that I was pretty. He also asked if I was from the UK. I told him I was from the states (thought I wonder why I admit these things) and he said I was Bush's sister. I told him I very much disliked our president.
Mostly though, I was very freaked out. I didn't want to encourage him, but I didn't want to be mean. Afterwards I wondered if perhaps I simply discourage far too many guys who are trying to flirt with me with a "why are you talking to me?" attitude. Ah well, can't be perfect all the time.

Spent Monday night in Dessau, which is where the Bauhaus is. Was nifty, got to see a German high school. Went to a Greek restaurant where they gave us free Uzo, which kinda kicked my butt, esp when added to the glass of really good Greek wine I had with dinner. Met with Prof. Wippermann, my advisor, yesterday, and am now feeling better about my ability to finish work before flying far away.
Tonight I am going with Alex to Munich on the night train, and we are meeting Hannah there. I like Hannah. I like Alex. I don't always like them together, esp. as Alex seems to be laboring under the dillusion that he is Hannah's boyfriend, which he most assuredly is not. Ah well. Only two more weeks and I will be home, and can have all new drama to cope with. I do love Germany, but not the part where I am alone 90% of the time. They had best give me a single in Bartlett upon my return to Alfred, or the Evelyn will be very cranky.

That'S all for now, I think.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Today is Saturday. I slept in a bit, had Special K Red Berries for breakfast, and then went out to the Egyptian museum. It was very nifty, and convinced me that I really do want to study museum science. I want to be the person who actually gets to handle all the cool old stuff and put it on display. I got to see the famous bust of Queen Nefertiti, which was cool. Then I took the bus basically across town to buy tickets for the Mozart Requiem performance tonight at the Berliner Dom (which is a big cathedral), and now I'm in my local internet cafe, catching up and trying to decide what to do about dinner before the 6pm concert, since I didn't have lunch. The bus to the church was all screwed up because of the weekly Saturday protest throught the center of town. That's the trouble with democracy- it screws up the traffic patterns.
Yesterday after my update I went to the Topogrophy of Terror, which is an outdoor exhibition where the SS headquaters used to be. They were out of English audio guides though, so I had to read the German text. I managed, but I want to go back and have the guide. Then I went to the movies- I saw Love Actually, which is good- a fun movie that makes you feel good, but not a whole lot of deep substance or amazing storytelling- lots of cute British accents though. Problem was, eventually I wound up thinking about my love life, and how boys are stupid and don't hit on me, and that got me depressed. But what else is new.
I think that's all for now- have to eat and change out of my blue jeans before the concert.

So, I had two German tests today. One in class, because we finished our book. I did well, which is nice. What's even nicer is that then I had an oral exam, because today was my last day of German class. It was with my teacher, and I had to talk about various stuff. She told me then that my German was good, and after asking if I was satisfied with my progress and my skills, told me I should be because she was. It was nice. I like it when people are nice to me. My cheeks hurt from smiling. Because, on top of that, I got to talk to Kate and Cassandra on the phone yesterday and Kristin and Albert online today. Life is good.
That's about it for now, my hands hurt from typing a writing assignment, since it's been a while since I typed so much and I miss my ergonomic keyboard. But it'S all good because I will be in America soon with mashed potatoes and turkey and halfmoons and my friends and whatnot.

So, my first webjournal entry. I don't know if this is such a good idea, since I am notoriously bad at journal keeping, but it seems a good way to let everyone know what's going on, at least in terms of general trends, without having to repeat myself. I am currently stressed, because I am newly aware of how much there is for me to do while still in Berlin, and how little time I have to do it. I need a drink, or a hug, or something, because the Pferminz Rittersport isn't quite cutting it.
Fun thing I just did: went throught the Livejournal setup process in German. Ah, the joys of living in Berlin. Fortunately, I understood, but I do miss English somedays. I could list a score of other things I miss, but we don't need that. Mostly, I just want a break. A nice long vacation where all I have to do is take my GREs and write essays about why I want to go to grad school. And then pray that I'll be able to afford it without resorting to immoral activities.

OK. I have to go do something productive now, though I don't know what. I have a to-do list, but I don't want to do most of it...