ssshhhh

Ok, so I'm going to write about a particular pet peeve of mine.  People who don't know how to behave in the theater.  This is particularly bad in movie theaters, though sometimes the behavior carries over into live theater.  You DO NOT TALK during a movie.  Ok, you may talk, but only if you have an emergency, a particlarly witty observation, or a valid question, and it must be spoken QUIETLY, DIRECTLY into the ear of your filmgoing companion.  Understood?  I say this because I have friends who do not understand this, and many other people in the theater do not understand.  The ONLY time that this rule does not apply is when the only people in the theater are you and your party, and they do not mind.   If I can hear you when your mouth is not facing my ear, you are TOO LOUD.  This pet peeve has nothing really to do with my lack of desire to talk to you, so much as my attempt to obey the golden rule.  You know how annoying it is when the guy two rows back won't shut up, or the old lady in front of you keeps asking the lady in the seat next to her "who's that?" and "what'd he say?" Well, you're just as annoying to everyone else in the theater when you talk.  So don't do it.  I don't care if there's no dialouge at the moment- perhaps it's a dramatic silence, or maybe it's an engaging action sequence (we're hoping the movie isn't terrible here). Don't ask me what's going to happen, even if I've seen the movie, b/c I obviously either don't know, or found out by watching it the first time, and so will you.  If you're still confused afterwards, then I'll be happy to explain (assuming I understood).  If you really missed what someone said, I'll whisper in your ear.  If something really funny pops into your head, by all means, whisper it in my ear.  If you're annoyed b/c the film isn't exactly like the book, we can kvetch about it later.  If you think you know what's gonna happen, or what's in the box, or whatever, that's great, we're glad you're playing along at home.  But if the movie's good, chances are your wrong.  Chances are also that the filmmaker wanted you to think what you think and got everyone else in the audience to get it too, so you don't need to help us along.  Are we all following the message here?

Some of this doesn't apply to watching movies at home, b/c there aren't other people in the audience and b/c you can rewind. 

Along with my golden rule theme- don't stand in doorways or the middle of hallways chatting.  Move out of the way, b/c you don't want to be that group of people who are so rude that you block passage for everyone else in the building.  Trust me, you don't.