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[personal profile] lotusbiosm
stolen from [livejournal.com profile] eredien

We're going to start by saying that this list? Pisses me off. For several reasons. One, the assumption that all of "Upstate NY" is the same, just because it's north of NYC. Yeah, not so much. E.g: where I grew up (in the middle), carbonated beverages such as colas and root beer are referred to as "soda." Where I went to college (in the SW of the state), they're "pop."
Also, I'm not a hick. I never have been. I am perhaps related to a few, and I think the argument could be made that some of the people I went to school with were, but I'm not.
But anyway, the list in question, bold items for things that were true, and my comments in italics.


You know you're from Upstate NY when . . .
Your snowblower has more miles than your car

True Value Hardware is busier on any given Saturday than a toy store at Christmas

You have been trick or treating in a snowstorm Best Halloween ever was the year we had a snow day on Nov. 1

You think driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow

You think everyone from the city has an accent My Dad was born in NYC. I grew up going there at least once a year, even if just for a Yankee game. I know better

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown with only 8 buttons. no, and neither does anyone else in my family

You have found ice and frost on the inside of windowpanes

You frequently clean the grease off your barbecue to keep the bears, raccoons, or other animals from prowling on your deck Well, a) we didn't have a deck, but if we cleaned the grease off the grill it was to make sure the grill was clean, not because of animals

A brat is something you eat Depends on how you pronounce it. But we didn't eat them much in my house growing up, I think the first time I heard bratwurst referred to as a "brat" was in a Johnsonville commercial

You measure distance in hours. Driving distance, yes. Walking distance is either blocks or minutes

You know several people who have hit a deer...

...and eaten it. Probably, but not that I know of

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again. We didn't have A/C in my parents' house most of my life. But yeah, there are def. days when that would be necessary if you wanted to keep everything a consistent temperature. But we just opened windows or put more blankets on the bed.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. Well, maybe not 65, and I'm a bit out of practice with my winter driving, but yeah

You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). I have never seen this, outside of the whole "camo as a pattern on a shirt" thing, and certainly never at a wedding

You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked.

>b>You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit or under a parka. Maybe not a snowsuit, but def. layers of warm clothes, if you're going trick-or-treating

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. No. It's cute that you think I could pick out a blue spruce in a line-up of other pine trees though. But yeah, there are def. a good number of deer statues in Upstate NY, as there are elsewhere in the US, because we are a tacky, tacky country.

You go out to fish fry every Friday. So, we could have, esp. during Lent, because there were certainly a lot of them, but we never did

You grew up thinking the food at the Chinese all-you-can-eat-buffet was a little exotic. No. A little risky, perhaps, but not exotic

Your Mother's Day Picnic was moved indoors due to snow. Yeah, it's def. snowed on Mother's Day. And Earth Day. And one year on Graduation Day at Alfred.

You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

You know which leaves make good toilet paper...

...and are always embarassed for people who don't. Yeah, no. I've peed in the woods before, and gone camping at campsites that didn't have enclosed bathrooms, but I don't think I've ever wiped with leaves

You have kept food cold by putting on the back porch In college, we used to keep ice cream on the windowsill between the window and the screen

The mayor greets you on the street by your first name I don't even know who the mayor of my hometown is anymore
<
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze In the winter, it certainly could

You attend a formal event in your best clothes and finest jewelry, but have to bring along a second pair of shoes so you can change out of your snow boots Definitely. Heels and icy parking lots do not mix

You do a double-take if, in winter, you see a pickup that doesn't have an attached plow. I wouldn't do a double-take, but yeah, lots of them did

You can get cheese curds, apple cider, and maple syrup a short drive away from your house I'm not sure about cheese curds, but I'll assume yes. I've never eaten them that I can recall

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout. Except for the part where I don't do it.

The town buys a zamboni before a bus

You know what Chicken Riggies, Spiedies, Tomato Pie, and Half-Moons are. But I think I was in college (def high school) before I had chicken riggies (which sound really good right now). And I hate tomato pie. I've got no clue wtf spiedies are.

You mourn the fact that you cannot get a "real" Half-Moon anymore OMG yes. And the fact that people think they're the same as Black and Whites

Your local dairy/convenience store chain sells green peppermint milk in glass bottles at St. Patrick's Day and has its own brand of homemade ice cream I'm not sure about the green peppermint milk, but probably

You get nervous if you don't own a pair of snow boots, gloves, and a warm hat, even if you live in Arizona.
I don't get nervous. In fact, I didn't own snow boots when Snowpocolypse hit. Still don't. I have good boots that will do in a snowstorm now, but I don't technically own winter boots.

You really like Heidelberg Bread I don't even know what it is

There are twenty places to go skiing within as many miles, but only two places to buy books. I think the twenty skiiing places within twenty miles thing is inaccurate, but there was a time when we really didn't have a bookstore at all

You are confused when people in other states don't accept Canadian quarters.

You refer to downtown Albany or Syracuse as "The City." NO. The City, with capitol letters and the definite article, is NYC. Always has been, always will be. Even though I live in a different city now (which I refer to as "The District")

"Vacation" means going to Lake Ontario, the Adirondacks, Niagra Falls, or the Finger Lakes for the weekend. For a lot of people I grew up with, at least

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Hannaford at any given time. I don't know, we didn't shop at Hannaford

In the winter, you get up before the sun to find out if you have to go to school. In the winter, you get up before the sun, regardless. But yeah, we listened to the radio to see if we had school in the winter.

You have more than one pair of thick, wooly socks. I def. did growing up, I probably still do

They build a new store right in front of a vacant one of the same size.

You try to go out to dinner at 8:30 PM and everyone's already closed. WTF, no. Not that I've ever really tried, because I think that 8:30 is an uncivilized time to be having dinner. I'm hungry at 6

You can go to any mall on Saturday and see at least 5 people you either work with, went to school with, or dated. Well, I don't live there anymore, but around holiday time probably would see people I know at the mall, yeah.

Half the change in your pocket, and half the television channels you get, are Canadian. Our local cable system had one Canadian channel. And occasionally you'd get Canadian change. But no, not half

From May to October there is a festival every weekend celebrating a different fruit, vegetable, or agricultural product. Probably, but I wouldn't know

You complain that the bars downtown are filled with "SUNY kids."

You're shocked by housing prices everywhere else on the planet. I've never been someone who paid attention to housing prices

You can spell and pronounce Skaneateles, Ausable, Yahnundasis, and Canandaigua.

Syracuse, Rome, Troy, Poland, and Cairo are not overseas destinations. Don't forget Greece, Mexico, Russia...

You're surprised when other people you meet don't know how to snowshoe, ski/snowboard, hike, canoe, rock-climb, ice skate or play lacrosse as a matter of course. I'm surprised when people who grew up in states that have real winter don't know how to ice skate. Skiing I get, it's more expensive. I only know how to canoe b/c of summer camp, and certainly it's never come up in conversation whether or not someone knows how to canoe or rock climb. I don't really know how a person can "know" how to hike, unless hiking is somehow more complicated than walking through the woods. I wouldn't know, I don't do it.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the state road. No, but if it's a narrow road, that can def. cause a traffic jam

You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them. When I drove, yes. Because that's just smart

You experience spring as three muddy days and a weekend that rains.

If your car ever appeared to be salt white.

If you preheat your car from November to April.

If your car locks ever froze solid and you couldn't open the doors

If you ever had to say, "No, I am not from the city."

If you describe the size of Lake-Effect snow using both hands.

If your spices of choice are salt, pepper and ketchup. Dude, we had waaaay too many Italians in our part of the state for this to be true

An immediate family member has shot something and ate it for a major holiday.

You know what "Salt Potatoes" are, and that they are obtainable all year long from Price Chopper. I was unaware that they could be obtained from Price Chopper, as we didn't shop there. I don't remember them being available at the grocery stores we did shop at though.

You know that Utica Club isn't a nightlife spot.

There's a 1-800 number to report a pothole in the road. But I think there might be in DC too...
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